Saturday, June 12, 2010

A Creative Lag...

Sorry to all who enjoy my work - despite a glut of ideas, I have been plagued by a creative lag lately. Could it be my lack of ambition? Could it be that I just want to enjoy the weather while it's nice, and hibernate when it's crappy? Could it be that I'm just lazy and have no motivation for art right now?
It could be all of those things.
Also factoring into the mix : my mom is coming to visit from June 21st-24th. So - I'm probably gonna be cleaning a LOT.. for a whole week. The only thing that's worse than living in a cluttered place is being nagged at...for living in a cluttered place! So I'm going to try my best to put everything to rights before my mom ( aka Ms. Clean) gets here. I know that it won't be good enough...but it really doesn't stop me from trying.
Another reason might be that hubby is working all the time, and I'm usually idle when he's not around a lot - I figure...why should I do anything when there's no one around to appreciate it? And even if I actually DO something, I have to point it out when he gets home...and even then, he's really not interested. He's not an artistic type anyway. He usually just gives me a cursory "Looks good!" and goes back to whatever he was doing. FRUSTRATING!
As if I needed another reason, we might - I stress MIGHT - be moving to Texas. We don't know yet...hubby isn't too sure about the way that they've been running the new Distribution Center so far. So, it may be a false alarm, and we'll end up living in this putrid, chilly mud hole until he croaks and I have nothing to keep me here anymore. I'd much prefer the warm weather of TX to this crap in WA state. It's not fun anymore (as if it was EVER fun for me).
We're also planning on buying a house in the next six months. Hopefully it will be in Texas - maybe or maybe not - a lot of it hinges on hubby's decision. It turns out that they are sending drivers down there in "start-up teams" that will be there for two weeks at a time. This will give him plenty enough time to decide whether he wants to take a gamble on this new DC...or whether he wants to bet on a sure thing.
Also to be considered is physical pain. I've had knee problems for the past 8 years, and hoped that with surgery, they would go away. I have also had back pain for the past 4 years or so, because limping created a muscle imbalance in my back - surprise! Back Spasms!!! Anyway, since surgery, I've had more knee pain (unrelated to the previous problem), more back spasms (on BOTH sides now, instead of just the left), itching and stinging at the incision sites, and my right leg gets tired easily - from being under-worked those 8 years, and now being worked much more. The doctor said that it would be 6 months to a year for me to feel in tip-top shape after my surgery...and at first, I was driven to prove him wrong. Right now, all I want is relief from the pain....I'm seriously getting tired of it. I've dealt with chronic pain for over 8 years now...and the ending seems to be in sight! I guess I'm just impatient, and I want my body to heal faster than humanly possible. BACK TO THE POINT...pain can be distracting. It's hard to work at a drawing or painting when you know that you won't be able to sit there without pain for too much longer. I swear, anticipation of pain is the worst.

So, there you have it. My excuses for not being artsy-fartsy as of late. I'll make it up to you guys...I promise!

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